I like tests. Especially ones I’ve studied for. They’re a nice little chance to announce to myself, “Hey, you’re pretty awesome, and this here piece of paper proves it”. And if some slackjaw happens to be eavesdropping on what I got on the test, well, it provides them a little reinforcement for who is awesome and who isn’t. Early test taking ability hasn’t translated into unfathomable wealth and influence. Since I don’t get to take many test any more, I’ve gotten better and predicting the future and I’m pretty sure that isn’t going to happen. My wife however, has been taking a few tests. No, M isn’t going for her MA (Masters of Awesome), but she is going for her NM (New Mom) certification. Back on September 1, M passed the first level and it’s pretty much been a secret since. This has been hard to do. Various family members are eager for new additions. I guess the current members are old, stale, boring, rude and possibly smell bad. I definitely see how adding a newborn and requisite add new smells, spills, noise and chaos makes everything better. It had been hard not to say anything until the ‘right’ time. M is a good soldier, feeling ill and tired and hungry and not complaining very much at all. I think if I were hungover for more than 2 days (my previous unenjoyable record), I would start to get surly. M is a rockstar so far. Chewing on giant vitamins, getting lots of sleep, eating well (sort of), all the good stuff. We started looking at baby strollers a few weeks back. They look different from the stroller I had. I think I had a roller skate with a broom handle and an old handbag for me to rest in. The new ones come with heated cupholders and all wheel drive. I hope I get to make it into a go-kart at some point when it is no longer needed, since it will probably end up costing what a small used car would. But I digress. M and I decided we wanted to know the sex of the little person, and we learned last week that it will be a boy. So we will be having a son first. I was a first born son, my father was and I believe my grandfather was as well. Prior to that it was a law that all men had sons first so we will just believe it goes on until the beginning of time. I have generated my sequel. My hope is that he will be a Godfather II, Beverly Hills Cop 2, or Empire Strikes Back – type sequel. That is, one generally regarded as better than the first and not any of the myriad forgettable, regrettable second takes that we’ve all come to loathe. I have acquired 33 years of big mistakes and I plan on sharing each and every one with the hope that he will avoid these and make even more epic ones on his own, provided he does not end up on the front page of the NYTimes for a billion dollar swindle. The happy first birthday will be on or around May 11, 2012, We don’t have any names yet. Recent rejected nominations are: Rooster, Thump, Tasker and Ace.
In other sequel news Fast and Furious and Pirates of the Carribiean are coming out with new editions (the fifth and fourth, respectively). I have enjoyed both series quite a bit and plan on enjoying these in all their overblown cheesy and bad taste glory.
