If you don't want to read about Game of Thrones, stop here. Go find something else to do.
Still here? excellent.
I'm here today to put A Song of Ice and Fire to rest. What is A Song of Ice and Fire? That's the official name of the 7 book series by George RR Martin that is more or less called 'Game of Thrones'. Why is the real name not used? Probably because A Song of Fire and Ice is kind of a silly name, but more likely because HBO made a popular show about the books and 'Game of Thrones' is the title they used.
I have not seen the show. Honestly, I was not initially interested in the show. Dungeons and Dragons never made any sense to me and it was a little nerdy, even for this nerd. Somewhere in between me deciding I wasn't interested and 6 weeks ago though, I was convinced to check it out. The TV show is wildly popular on the interwebs, so that at least spurred me to think about participating from a popular culture perspective. The books were highly recommended by a co-worker who shares many similar interests and beliefs, especially in the book department. (I should note that she - yes she - is a 40 something lesbian. I don't know what that says about me, but it does say something.). I downloaded one for the kindle and was immediately put off. 900+ pages. I figured I wasted $10. Can you return kindle books? I complained loudly to said co-worker. She swore I was wrong. So I procrastinated, read the other books I purchased until this was the only one left that I hadn't read. Ok. Fine. I'll try it.The first 200 pages were sloooow. Martin must have introduced 100 characters, cities, realms in those 200 pages. The names were odd, the descriptions were insanely detailed, it wasn't going anywhere. Yet, I kept reading. And reading and reading and the next thing I knew I was waiting until M went to sleep and then reading until midnight. And then the book was over. And nothing was resolved. I just spent 2 weeks devoting all my spare time to the Kingdom of Westeros and Martin just left me hanging. I should have expected this. I knew it was a planned series of 7 books. But seriously, what can someone write about for almost 8000 pages? It's still hard to explain, but I can now say I have read all 5 published books and I still have no idea where he's going with this. The last 6 weeks have been a blur. I have barely watched TV, haven't defeated the internet in weeks, don't remember any train rides, and I haven't slept more than 6 hours a night except for nights when I am so exhausted I can't even stay up longer than M and pass right out. It's been brutal.
M thinks I'm crazy. My parents and siblings don't want any part of it. My sister A has at least seen the show and is appropriately excited. Most of my co-workers are tired of me talking about it. Whatever. You're all missing out. They are flat out entertaining. I am a bit of a hypocrite here. I spurned the Hunger Games and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo because they were too mainstream. Yes I fancied myself a book hipster. The worst kind. Then I read them and 20 million people aren't wrong. The same goes for these.
Are they full of magic and wizards and witches? no. There are no gnomes, elves, orcs, trolls or any of that Lord of the Rings garbage. There is an Imp/little person (that got a golden globe for Peter Dinklage - one of the best characters I have ever encountered in any book/movie). But he has no magic powers aside from his prodigious appetite for liquor and whores and his lethal mind. There are dragons, but they are more of a concept than an actuality. There is a lot of knights/armor/honor stuff going on. There are princesses and queens and lords. There are castles and moats. There's sex, lots and lots of dirty dirty sexytime. There's killing. Half of the reason Martin invented 500 characters is so he can have any chance of people surviving to the finale. Don't get too invested in any one character, no matter how pivotal they are to the story or how much time Martin devotes to them. Martin is utterly unsentimental about killing these people. Or is he? The vagueness about whether or not people actually die is one of my few complaints. But when they really do die, they die gloriously. I shouldn't say the books are completely magic-free. There is some future-seeing and mysticism and a bit of mythical creaturing going on, but it's tolerable. It's on the fringes.
What really gets me going is the plotting. The back stabbing, the conspiracies, the loathsome villains, the flat out creativity of it all is impressive. It's a little closer to historical fiction or a political thriller than actual fantasy. Don't think Disney or fairy tales, think 'The Killer Angels' and the cold war (or WWI/II?) set in the 15th century. I'm hooked. And now I'm a bit sad. Long books take a while to write. Martin is adamant about not dedicating his time to one project and his production time suffers for it. Some of these books have taken years to write. The most recent book took almost 6 years. Martin estimates the last two books will be 1500 pages each. I am not optimistic that they will be out any time soon. Good things come to those who wait? I fear I am going to forget about these characters and lands and backstory. I'm worried that when they do come out, I won't have time to devour them like I want to. Oh well. No regrets here.
