Back Porch = Done (I think)

Something small, simple. An item that seems too good to pass by. If you think about it, it’s the chance encounters that really get things started. M came up to me in a store one day to show me a big glass bowl and we ended up with a new downstairs bathroom. Not to be outdone, a few months back we were in a home store and we saw a cantilevered patio umbrella for sale. It was early March. Who’s buying patio furniture in March? We had a functioning set. It came with the condo. It was faded and the umbrella was home to several hornet nests, but it was good for a free set. Seating for 4 was alright, but anything more required carting out the living room stuff. Part of me wanted something better, but new gear is pricey. $35 for an umbrella wasn’t a bad start. We’d need to figure out a way to keep it in place. I had a pretty good handle on that one. Then we’d need a new table and some chairs. This umbrella didn’t come up through the middle of the table, so we needed a table with no hole. Last fall M and I were sitting outside in Florence and we noticed that the café used cast iron fencing and basic greenery to separate diners from the road and it was surprising effective. We thought something like this might work for out little space. We had all these ideas, but all we really had was an umbrella.

Over the next few months we acquired more. We’d isolated a few tables from Ikea but they weren’t being delivered to our closest store. Tired of waiting, we drove to Connecticut instead. 3 hours of driving for 10 minutes of shopping. I think we got the support system for the umbrella next. I had it in my mind that I would construct an elaborate wood base and blah blah blah. I’m not great at building things. M heard me out but didn’t jump at the idea. We needed about 100 lbs of weight. Four 37 lb pavers would do the trick. Table, pavers, umbrella – check. Chairs were on deck. Another Ikea run and another and another and we were in business. Turns out I can assemble them fairly quickly when I get into a rhythm.

By now, our living room was holding all of these acquisitions and starting to look like a Building #19 warehouse. Shredded cardboard, packing material, piles of furniture and boxes were everywhere. The railing system was less straightforward. Our first investigations of decorative fencing yielded flimsy plastic pickets and miniature stockades - nothing that would hold a planter box. After an abortive and confusing attempt at mocking up a stone wall in the garden center of a big box home improvement store, we found our fence in the building materials section. A few details about attaching said fence later and it was off to start assembly.

Construction started a week or so ago when I put together the umbrella. Turned out the pavers were a little too thick at the corners and needed a haircut. I don’t own nor did I want to rent a wet saw. I shot a quick text for help to some family members and got the great advice to use a cold chisel and a hammer. I didn’t have a cold chisel either, but I saved the steel punch that came with our granite vanity. I figured, good for breaking granite, good for breaking concrete. Michaelangelo I am not, but I shaped those pavers with a whole lot of aggression and noise. Satisfied, I went on to assemble the railings. We can’t attach the railings to the deck directly, so we decided to use some 2x6’s and make portable railing units. This will help when the condo board has the deck re-stained and when the snow comes. Each railing came with 8 lag bolts that weren’t exactly well fitted to the bases of the newell posts. I had to tighten them ¼ turn at a time with the only tool that would fit. It didn’t get me fired up to turn a wrench for a living.

We decided to do the railings last weekend because it was too cold to oil down our new furniture. That’s right, the table and chairs needs to be oiled every year. We traded indestructible aluminum for high maintenance wood! It does look a lot better and the first year’s oiling wasn’t so bad. We’ll see how I feel 7 years from now. 6 chairs and a (newly assembled) table later, I’d had my fill of oil and mineral spirits. We filled up our planter boxes, added 3 new shrubs and sold off the old furniture. All on a Saturday. Before 6pm. I even hit up the driving range afterwards. The 2x6’s looked a little pale next to the chairs, so I gave them a little George Hamilton style bronzer. It’s a little odd, but the deck stain to match the deck was only sold in gallon buckets and I needed a cup of it. We had so much time left over, we decided to fire up the grill and have some steaks. Didn’t even have to use my AK, gotta say it was a good day…