Rave - #1 has got to be Jamon. What is Jamon? It’s ham, really. But not the watery limp pink stuff from the deli, this is dark red, chewy, fatty deliciousness. Aged 12-36 months and served cured (essentially raw and mummified) with little more than some tomato and olive oil rubbed on bread, it equals amazing eats. There were museums to this stuff. Some of it was remarkably expensive (+$70/lb). Those swine eat acorns in oak forests before they become Jamon. Ruffles makes Jamon flavored chips (not as good, but interesting). It’s hard to describe what it tastes like. It was sort of nutty, and buttery with a wonderful mouth feel and an instant craving for more. Too bad it’s not available here so you’ll just have to take my word for it. Close #2 is manchego cheese. Delicious.
Rave – Tapas. It is well known that I love hors d’ourves. I can have nothing but snacks for dinner, which Tapas are, more or less. Real Spaniards have them for snacks before they go out dancing or drinking, but we had them for dinner. Meatballs, fried cheese pillows, paella, shrimp on a stick, cod ceviche, artichokes, potato quiche, octopi, even a deep fried pigs’ ear were no match for our appetites. Well mine, anyway, M was more adventurous than ever but she abstained from the ear and cod.
Rant – paying for bread and olives. What is this extra 2 Euros on all of our meals? It’s the bread. Turns out the bread basket or olive plate aren’t free in Spain. They must know Americans devour these things without question, so it’s an easy $3 on every meal. I didn’t realize this until very late in the trip and it was still hard to resist. Diner beware. Epically lame.
Rant – hidden taxi charges. The meter reads 10 Euros. Then we stop, the driver mumbles something and mashes the meter’s buttons until it reads 18 Euros. Had I spoke Spanish or Catalan, maybe I would have my answer, instead I’m out big bucks. Even NYC has a sign in the cab explaining what the charges are. Maybe they are legit, maybe not. We got taken for a ride, literally.
Rave – Westin Palace Hotel Madrid. Wow. This had to be the nicest place I’ve stayed in yet. Even though I am not technically platinum level anymore, I still got the platinum level perks and with it came a killer corner suite. We missed out on the opera brunch and the chocolate dinner, but we did see the Turkish national soccer team and got treated to a nightly horn honking battle and even a view of a church doing rapid-fire weddings. I don’t think the pews had even cooled off from one party before another bride showed up for her trip down the aisle. Excellent free entertainment.
Rant – indecipherable menus. I thought ‘taco’ meant a taco. We ordered the low priced sampler menu and pointed at things we thought we wanted. I got overcooked tuna cubes with ketchup on a bed of French fries. I only like my tuna 2 ways – raw and in the can. This was the extra fishy dark stuff. I thought it was slow cooked beef and I was treated to bony fish cubes. Luckily M shared some of hers with me so I didn’t eat the napkin. After considerable difficulty ordering dessert, they brought us the English menu. Thanks a lot fellas.
Rave – Picasso. I have a lot more respect for Mr. Pablo now. We saw his museum in Barcelona, filled with a lot of his earlier works and you get a chance to see how talented his was, even as a young child. It was much later in life that he developed the cubist style most people know, but he could paint almost any style. In our research for this trip I read 2 anecdotes about Picasso. One was that he used to pay everyone with a check, knowing that because of his signature, many of these checks would never be cashed and would instead be framed. Not a bad way to get by. The other was that he was sitting at a bar doodling on a napkin. When the bill came, the waiter offered to waive the bill if Picasso would sign the napkin. Picasso scoffed and said if he signed his doodle he could buy the whole bar with it, much less his meager bill.
Rant – Dali. Every dorm has the kid who buys a bunch of Dali prints from the bookstore. That kid sees all sorts of meaning in the frailty of time in the melting clocks and loves to gaze at the surrealist images, trying to get inside Dali’s head. Snore. We went out of our way to see his museum, which he had a great hand in designing. I think the fact that he helped design his own museum took something away from it. For one it was intentionally confusing, and secondly, he got to choose what works went in and how they were portrayed. The place was a madhouse of large scale loony art. There are a few interesting exhibits that involve a surprise. I will not reveal them here because knowing ahead of time takes something away.
Rave – Dali’s Jewelry. This section of the museum was much more interesting. I think jewelry was a much better medium for his work in general. But what do I know? This was way better than the regular museum.
Rave – Spanish Pastries. XiouXiou (zhoo-zhoo), churros con chocolate, fairy cakes (muffins),napolitanas. I had no idea Spain was big on pastries. Lots of excellent finds in this area.
Rave – La Boqueria Market. M and I got more fruit than we could eat for less than $2. Strawberries, apples, oranges, plums, and things I can’t even name. This market had it every day. They had stalls for fruit, fish, Jamon, normal meat, bizarre animal parts, dried foods, nuts, candy. It was a free for all. If I lived within walking distance to here I’d be 300 lbs.
Rant – rain. Lots of it. Everyone saying how unusual it was. Not for us. You want rain? Book us for a vacation. We can’t miss.
Rave – Another animal statue. Madrid had a pseudo symbol of the city which is a bear reaching up for a berry bush. The royal family used to keep bears and hunt them. The berry bush is some kind of indigenous plant. I like cities that have animal mascot statues.
Rant – pickpockets and scammers. All of our travel information told us to watch out for thieves and to wear our money belts. I hate the GD money belt. It makes it impossible to tuck a shirt in and makes me look like I’m wearing a diaper. It’s hot and causes belly sweat. Not enjoyable. At night I fantasized about catching a pickpocket and thrashing him publically. We’re from the land of guns and ammo. You going to try and rob me without a weapon? I’m 30% larger than most Spanish men and from the looks of it, in better shape. I suppose targeting younger, larger people is a bad way to become a successful pickpocket, but we didn’t see any of it. The constant vigilance did keep me on edge and unusually aggressive.
Rave – free museums. Much like the Louvre being free if you are unemployed, Madrid’s big art museums were free to unemployed, retired people, students and after a certain time of day, everyone. This is the way it should be.
Rave – Cataluña. I think the crummy weather and crowded area we stayed in caused me to like Madrid a little more than Barcelona. Given another chance I think the circumstances would change. Tucked up into the northeast corner of Spain, the Catalan people pay more taxes and tolls than everyone else, they have the most industry and commerce, they are spiritual but not maniacally religious and they sport a donkey as a symbol to poke fun at the bull-obsessed Madrdilleanois. They gripe about the lazy south and don’t really see eye to eye with the rest of their country. Sounds familiar to me.
Rant – Franco. Bad, bad dude. Not enough is taught about this in American schools.
Rave – Small Spanish Feet. You ever go to the clearance section of the store and see all the giant size clothes that never get sold? Guess whose feet qualify for those sizes in Spain? This guy, that’s who. Most of the clothes, too. Large does not quite contain me. If I lived there, cheap clothes for me.
Rant – No orange/pineapple juice blend. On the flight from Barcelona to Madrid, Iberia offered 4 beverage choices. Coke, water, orange, and pineapple juice. I asked for half orange /half pineapple and you’d have thought I had proposed mixing some Clorox in there. Everyone around me gave the American a funny look. The attendant said it sounded weird and almost refused to serve me. But she did. Delicious. They don’t know what they are missing.
Rave – Gaudi and modernisma architecture. We got to see a lot of Gaudi’s work in Barcelona. The Sagrada Familia, Parc Guell, Casa Mila and a few other places were all designed in a psychedelic, twisting, mosaic style that was a little jarring at first, but turned out to be one of my favorite aspects of the trip. I’m not a big art or architecture guy. I like what I like but we don’t have glossy coffee table books of I.M. Pei or Frank Lloyd Wright. I really liked what Gaudi and the modernists were trying. Turn of the century Barcelona had a lot of money for commissioning private houses and these guys came up with buildings that are more interesting than just about anything I’ve seen anywhere else. Highly recommended.
Rave and Rant – Spanish political protesters. I’d read that Spain was in some economic trouble, possibly worse than the U.S., and I was a little concerned that we might run into some rioters or protesters. Turns out I wasn’t disappointed. There was a very loud anti-capitalism protest and then an enormous anti-abortion protest on consecutive days, right outside our hotel in Madrid. Rant because I don’t gave a great deal of affection for protesters, rave because they were both exciting and delivered the bizarreness I look for in a vacation.
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