Drink up

Last night M and I had to make an unscheduled trip to Ikea. It’s not close to where we live. It rained last night. It was dark. Why did we have to go? Something we bought had an epic design fail and needed to be taken back. The trip was less than satisfying and I was frustrated when we left. Ikea didn’t do anything wrong other than be out of stock for something critical. But this misses my point. As we were leaving, I noticed someone was having a little less fun than I was. Or maybe they were having more fun? Either way, this was piled up against a column.


That’s three 16oz PBR tallboy cans, emptied of their contents. One? I can understand that. Maybe they grabbed a road soda on the way out the door? It’s a long drive to Ikea. Maybe they had a rough day. A 16 oz can is a little excessive for a casual brew, but I’ll let it slide. 2 cans? Maybe they had a really long ride there and wanted some refreshment before a long slog through the cavernous Mecca of fine Swedish home furnishings? Maybe they ate a bag of chips on the road and were really thirsty? 3 pounders? I have no idea why anyone would need 48 ounces of cheap beer all at once, at a furniture store. 48 ounces equals 4 regular 12 ounce cans. So he might be sneaky and think he only had 3 beers but he really had 4. I’ve been reluctant to go some places before, but not “I need to drink 4 beers before I go in there” reluctant. Or maybe I’m being too cynical and they fell out of his recycling bin on the way to the redemption center. He bought a carload of goodies and needed the extra space and the $.15 worth of aluminum didn’t make the cut.

Speaking of recycling, I went out to our recycling dumpster this weekend. Before I got there I could tell I was out of luck. The lid was bulging. I decided to try around the side so I could sneak some stuff in the side. As I opened the slider, something fell and hit me on the head. A big empty plastic bottle of Fleischmann’s Gin. Really? If I remember right that stuff costs about ten bucks, maybe twelve if you’re not in a college town. I know the economy is in a rough patch, but that seems a little extreme. Our condo complex isn’t a big party group, so I have to think that this is teenagers hiding evidence from their parents. I don’t care if you’re making omelettes or gallons of manhattans. Life is too short for crappy ingredients. On the other hand I should be glad it wasn’t one of those big mother Beefeater bottles crashing down on my skull. Keep the dream alive everyone - go with the plastic. For safety.