Sponge B wetpants

This is going to be borderline repetitive for anyone who has raised or is currently raising a child, but since this is my first rodeo, I am entitled.
Easy E has a new trick that he only performs with dad, which is to coat me with a thick morning vomit every so often. He eats his bottle, smiles, gets up on the shoulder to burp, I feel the burp gears turning against my shoulder, but instead of gently belching in my ear, he arches his back like a champion loogie spitter, unfurls a huge wet burp and with a 7oz finishing move of warm sticky milk, which seems to come out in a single continuous slug rather than several wet splashes. It's almost like it is encased in a slime membrane, only to disintegrate on contact with me or the chair.
The first time this happened he got it mostly down my back. A nice warm feeling yes, but a quick puke shower is not very satisfying. The next time he managed to get some in my mouth and my ear. Not cool man. And yesterday he dumped most of it down the front of my shirt and into my lap, making me the only person in the room with sopping wet pants, for a change.
These events do not bother him. I do not share his enthusiasm for purging.